Thursday 13 December 2012



Well, it's been a tad hectic as usual here in the Kingdom of Fife.

We have been juggling 2 projects, the first which was designing and building our 2013 range of Microlodges, and the second has been doing a conversion on the building adjoining the workshop to allow us better office facilities etc.

Sadly, all this has left very scant time for heading off and having 'adventures' and so we've not been on the hills for a month, but hope to get off out camping over the Xmas period.

We also had a trip down to Cornwall to Wellfarm cottages to deliver their new Hobbits, and even managed to miss the floods...barely.


We have managed to 'stretch' all our units now, to allow an extra 6" in length to the single bunks, Not that it affects us...as we are only Hobbit size...but we realised that there are some longer folks than us out there.
In addition, we enclosed the rear bunks a tad with the addition of a top ring.



We also built a new style toilet/shower unit....





...As for the building work next door...the first requirement was skips... which allowed this....


...to become this....


....and this......



to become....

                                     

We even started fitting in a kitchen area for our staff dinner breaks...

Now we are even getting a sofa in from our friend at the garage next door. Luckily, we know him well, as we never...ever take suites from strangers

We see that the snow season is also now upon us, so we really must attempt to head back to Glencoe and get some skiing in, as last year was a disaster weather wise.    We did get a picture of the site up there though, thanks to the power of Facebook.


Our latest projects are building agility training equipment, garden benches (for a Xmas present), then starting on a prototype 'Hobbit' kennel

Anyway, needs must be, and get back to work as Gary is beavering away whilst we sit fiddling with the computer....  If we don't blog before the end of the year...Have a great Xmas.






Saturday 24 November 2012

Ballad of 69


The Ballad of 69

See me, I’m a number, and I think my life is fine,
I started off a fraction, now I’m up to Sixty Nine,
I sometimes look upon my past, and often think of when,
I first discovered decimals, the day that I turned Ten.

I must admit, at Three and Five, it made me feel so odd,
But evened out when I turned Six, though Eighteen was a sod,
And when I first turned Sixteen, I found it quite a hoot,
Discovering when I was Four, I was my own square root.

And though I’m getting bigger, as year on year goes by,
I think of what it would be like, to be the same as Pi,
They say that life’s a circle, I think it can’t be fun,
If all your life, remains the same, at Three point One Four One.

You sometimes think, you don’t need maths, Oh come on, let’s be fair,
You couldn’t give the finger with your whole hand in the air,
You need to learn to count and add, it needn’t take you ages,
To take your pay, divide by hours, and find it’s rubbish wages.

We give each other nicknames, for example take my cousin,
His given titles only Six, we call him Half-a-Dozen,
At One Four One my Grandpa, the one that’s aged the most,
He still goes chasing Seventeen girls, we call him Grandpa Gross.

I know of these Two Zeros, they’re preceded by a one,
They’re heavy on the scale of things, we’re calling them a ton,
And take my brother Eighteen, we call him Double Nine,
But with his mates, he’s Treble Six, and that suits him just fine.

Now Three Four Three, is arrogant, he’s often really rude,
He thinks he’s so much classier, because he’s Seven cubed,
But boy have I got news for him, I’ve multiplied his mum,
And all the boys from algebra thinks she’s the Number One.

Now please don’t think I’m bitching, or just want financial gain,
But when I reached my second year, I didn’t share the fame,
I helped to solve lifes mysteries, but no-one seems to care,
I was that Two, that Einstein used, when E was MC square.

I’m moving house tomorrow, it won’t wait any later,
I’ve been promoted to a job, inside a calculator,
The moral of my story, is get up off your bums,
Stick in at school and learn the rules, and memorise your sums.

Monday 12 November 2012

Blazes Birthday Blog

I can barely believe it...me and Blaze have seen his 1st birthday come and go..... Doesn't time fly by.

Therefore, to celebrate this, we are going to update our latest adventures...and look back over the previous year...and what a year it's been.

Working our way backwards.

Last Sunday, we planned to go to Lochearnhead, meet with Cathy and Digger, and get Blazes 10th Munro climbed.    We kitted up with crampons and ice axes, which luckily were not needed as there was no snow as such up Ben Vorlich.  However, it was colder than an ex wife whom you had cheated upon.....

Some mountains deserve the 4 lettered word...LOVE...however this one was classed as SLOG...and by God it was. It takes an hour on tarmac just to get to the start point...then you look up...it's vertical, having to go from 500 feet to over 3,000 with very few flat bits to allow you to catch breath. Add to this the fact that it's a veritable mud slide...and you get the idea.   However.....about 1/4 of the way up, the dam at Loch Sloy comes into full view and you can gaze over to Ben Lomond & the loch.


The dam, from 1,500 feet


...and Loch Lomond

Eventually, we approached the summit...and had an amusing moment, as a walker who was ahead of us looked a tad confused.... It transpired that he had stopped to take some photos...got completely disorientated..and had started coming back down the hill instead of going to the summit... Guess what he wasn't carrying...here's a clue...rearranges these letters Cap and Mompass... Duh.

On the plus side...he then trailed us to the summit, where as his rescuers...he was pressed into photo duties to take our pics at the cairn...


Then, it was hot soup time...or it would have been had I not skimped and bought a cheap flask which could have been marketed as an ice making machine....    Normally, this would not have been a major issue, but with the wind chill factor up there...an Eskimo would have been off and running, seeking a hot bath....it was bitter.

On the plus side...the descent was rather swift...again taking into account of the muddy conditions...ie, at times a lot swifter than planned as we slipped on our butts a few times.

Halfway down...another photo taken...



Still, another Munro now 'bagged'.

We then headed home..and into the pub where there was a birthday cake for Blaze, to go along with the many great cards and presents he had received from his special Twitter  friends....


                                                           The previous adventure

After a while, we bit the bullet, and got our climbing gear, so we headed along to Elie, to do the Chain Walk...minus the chains, and attempt some free climbing and abseiling. As if this wasn't difficult enough, Blaze also got kitted out with his new climbing harness.....little did he know what lay ahead...


                                                               It started off, so well...

We made our way along the beach until the caves that marked the start of the walk...still going well...


At the caves

Then it was time to get down to business.....


The stacks

To say that Blaze was not impressed by this is a vast understatement.  However, after the first few climbs, he knew what was coming, and settled down and got used to being hoisted up...then heaved back off the rock face.   Then we did some nice easy rocks, which allowed us a few good photo shots...




Even time for a dance....


...and then a run in the fields on the way home...

So....to go back just 10 months...here is a timeline......


A new puppy arrives on the scene...


..and soon settles in...


...but he sleeps a lot...


.....but gets lots of cuddles....


Getting fluffy...but those floppy ears???


..and at last..the ears start sorting themselves out...


1st day with the rucksack.


Starting to be introduced to the pub...


...and the hills....


...and the beach...


...and the snow....


...learned to jump...


...build Hobbit houses...


..and canoe...


..and we could go on forever.

Anyway...phew  what a year.... what could make it better?  Not much  except perhaps Celtic winning the Champions League.... :-)




















Sunday 7 October 2012

Threading the Needle


So...what have we been up to this past week.

Well, whilst Gary has been rambling in Las Ramblas in Barcelona, I have been preparing the walls etc for the 3 Hobbit houses that are due to be delivered to Blackwater Hostel in Kinlochleven to join the 7 that are already there.

Hopefully, by Tuesday coming, we will be ready to start assembly of these Hobbits in preparation for a customer visit the following week. We hope that sale will come off, as we have no units down in Cornwall, so that would certainly be a feather in our cap.

Then, this weekend.    

I decided that Blaze and myself should head West and climb either Ben Narnian, or Ben Arthur (the Cobbler) on the Saturday.

Therefore with good intentions, I laid out all the hill walking gear, including ropes and climbing harnesses on the Friday night before nipping out to the pub for a swift nightcap.... This was however a severe test of my willpower, which I failed upon miserably, and it was after midnight before I wound my way home.....

As some of you may aware, a 5am alarm clock and next day dehydration is not the best of combinations when the planned agenda consists of dragging an ever ageing body up mountains... (more on the dehydration part of the story to follow).

So, especially as I've never got around to changing the horrendous alarm ringtone on my phone, I was awoken by the jangly tune of the marimba....It's dire....

First task...kettle on, then boil the eggs....a job that should really be done the night before as it's stomach turning at stupid o'clock in the morning.

Then, time to get dressed...and the 1st of the mornings tribulations.

Blaze, who has been house trained ever since I got him had decided to empty his bladder at some point in the night over the rucksack, soaking my prepared socks, wooly hat and gloves etc....

Therefore, 2nd task was mopping up the 'spillage' from the carpets.

A severe verbal warning and a yellow card was issued, with threats of a visit to the Dogs Trust re-homing in Glasgow promised in the event should this behaviour ever be repeated...(more on this later alongside the dehydration tale)....

Eventually, egg sarnies made up, and my new mini-flask, purchased very cheaply I may add (more on this later also), filled with piping hot coffee, we staggered out to the car for our early morning 90 mile drive to our start point.

Cue 2nd tribulation of the day...the car is iced up...so 15 minutes were spent getting some form of visibility through the windows allow us to set off...eventually.

Soon to follow...3rd tribulation...a yeasty smell wafting from the rear seats of the car.....  Yep...Blaze had puked up a steaming mountain of what could only be described as a mixture of month old Wheetabix and Marmite..which is quite amazing as he never gets fed either of these delicacies.....

Well, after the rigours of the alarm tone, the smelly eggs, the soggy carpet, the ice...the last thing I needed was cleaning puke. 

Still, a quick pull over into a layby, blanket rolled into a ball and stuck into a carrier back, and a clean blanket laid out, we set off again.

2 hours later, we arrived at our destination...well, I should say, according to the GPS, we arrived at the starting point for the climb. However, the track we were on would have had drivers from the Paris Dakar Rally chucking the towel in, as the 'road' made the surface of the moon look like the Neucamp Stadium.

Luckily, after a 43 point turn, and heading back the way we came, we found the car park and deposited our money into the machine for being allowed the honour of abandoning the vehicle in 9 inches of mud. 

As I'm wont to do, for safety reasons, I hid the car keys in a suitable 'invisible spot' below a rock..below a tree so they don't get lost on the hill.

By now, things were starting to look better...the sun was shining and the mountains were resplendent with the first rays of the day glancing off their eastern slopes.

The initial part of the walk consists of a set of leg-aching zig-zags, but after 20 minutes, we were rewarded with fantastic views down to the village of Succoth... Things were getting better.


After the zig-zags, Ben Lomond in the distance

It doesn't take long after this, when the first glimpse of Ben Arthur is encountered. After the night before, and the rotten start to the day, we decided to tackle this instead of Ben Narnian and Beinn Ime, plus, we would never get a better day for 'threading the needle' at the summit of The Cobbler.


1st view of Ben Arthur

Blaze was having a ball as there were plenty of streams for him to cavort in, and was as proud as Punch, sporting his brand new climbing harness which we hoped to put to the test later.

The walk into the base of the mountain is then fairly easy, and initial glances to the bealach seemed to promise a fairly hassle free ascent.....(by this time I'd forgotten about the previous nights consumption of Coors..which would return soon... in spades)...


Approaching the summit

At this point...many things came together, the dehydration, the peed on rucksack and the severe telling off that poor Blaze had received earlier in the morning.....

I went to get a drink from my water bag that nestles in the depths of my rucksack, which was energy boosting Robinsons cordial..and disaster..the tube had a blockage which had me sucking as if my testicles had been kicked up to my throat by a pissed off WWF wrestler who has just discovered his wife had been sleeping around and wanted to vent his anger on someone...

Therefore, off came the rucksack, and a major emptying out operation ensued. The end result was that I had not put the cap on properly the previous night, resulting in the contents having leaked out onto my socks, gloves, woolly hat and carpet during the night.   I could swear Blaze gave me a look that would have frozen hell over, as I swiftly retracted his yellow card and apologised as much as one could apologise to a completely innocent non-incontinent collie.

Of course, I was still left with the severe dehydration problem, but the thought of a nice coffee upon arrival at the bealach gave me the willpower to trudge on...I mean...what else could go wrong???


Arrival at the bealach for promised coffee...

Remember how I mentioned how cheap the flask was??? Now we know why. Firstly it leaked..and secondly, what dregs of contents that were left sloshing around in the bottom, were colder than an Eskimo streakers dangly bits....

Blaze however was just keen to eat the eggs sarnies for me, as I discovered after the first mouth full, that the previous nights ale had robbed me of all appetite.   So, surely nothing else could go wrong..could it??

It was only a 10 minute scramble to the 'needle' where we were glad we had packed extra clothing as it was flipping freezing, despite the sunshine.  Then, the first bit of good luck. Standing proud atop the needle were 2 climbers..already roped up. This meant, after a bit of shouting up and down, we agreed they should lower a rope down for Blaze...and hoist him to the top, and I would 'thread the needle', climb up the ledge and join them all on the top.


Eye of the needle.


The intended climb.

To explain the task using the above photo... Blaze was to be hoisted from the rocks on the left of the photo as it was the least distance to haul.. However...see that little overhang....? Well that's where his rope got snagged on, and he was left hanging around like a solitary bauble on a bare Xmas tree..and was none too happy about the whole sorry affair.
It was decided that he would be lowered back down to me and left at the base while I went through the needle, which takes you to the ledge seen on the right hand side of the photo.  The climb to the top was really quite easy, and a great sense of accomplishment was felt, as the majority of visitors who attempt this 'bottle it'.  Blaze however was none too happy about being left behind and was barking as if being murdered...highly embarrassing...


Hurrah...one of us made it.




Alas...getting back down is a whole new ballgame, as there was quite a bit of mossy slime on the rock, and my legs would have benefited  from being 6" longer. The chances of me plummeting were reduced however, it almost needed a credit card slid in between my puckering butt cheeks and the rock to break the suction my bum had managed to achieve. 

We then had a wee play around the base for a while before heading for the other 'top'

                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVUD6L5ss9w

Luckily, there is a way to skirt the worst of this by approaching it from the side, scrambling up some slabs of rock.
                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyhsz8ofmKo

With a second great feeling of glee, we reached the summit, fully laden with our rucksack, winter survival gear keeping us warm, ropes, harness and various essential dangly bits needed to overcome these dangerous peaks, only to discover 2 guys up there already, resplendent in trainers, donkey jackets, and smoking a joint that made a roll of carpet look like a twizzle stick....    Still...they did manage to take our photo..


At the top...yippee...


So legs aching, lungs bursting, head throbbing and body dehydrated, we decided to head back down, but taking a route that didn't involve the scramble we had to get up there..a longer...but much easier path.  Halfway down, we were able to abandon the cold weather gear...and thanks to God...a lovely stream of fresh, cool water was awaiting us. We were taking joy from small pleasures at this point.

The loch looked welcoming as we approached, and I promised Blaze a cool swim for having put him through yet another of my mad escapades.

Then, just to round off the day...remember that really safe place I hid the car keys....well it was so damned safe, it took me 20 minutes of searching to find them again....


A cool swim...for one of us anyway.

We have decided to have a lazy Sunday.

Back to Hobbit building tomorrow, so hoping we have a good, productive week.  

I wonder what next weekend will bring??? Sure to be fun, whatever it is.













Monday 10 September 2012

Galloway then Glencoe


So....the invitation was to attend a charity event with friends from Spain, at the Galloway Activity Centre, http://www.lochken.co.uk/

The idea was that I would arrive at noon on the Saturday, chill for the rest of the day, then at night, do a gig.
This was a tad daunting to say the least, having not played live for many years.
In addition my eyesight has been going downhill faster than a marble on a helter skelter, making it hard to read the music, so I was not exactly 'looking' forward to it.

As things transpired, all the worry was for nothing......I ended up doing a karaoke for 20 Girl Guides who were also attending a weekend course. They were. I must say, a credit to themselves and their behaviour and enthusiasm doing all the differing events on offer was fantastic.

Most of the day was spent walking the surrounding area and letting the dogs play in the loch.


The only place to get a phone signal was on this wee hill.



The weather could not have been better.


Blaze & Baby really wanted to stay in the wigwam


So, karaoke done....and a few beers drunk and stories swapped, it was off to the bunkhouse for a good nights sleep, with a packed day planned ahead for the Sunday.

Next day, up I was up surprisingly early, bright and bushy tailed......and aided by numerous coffees whilst sitting on the jetty, we plotted the days activities.   I decided on Laser guns, Archery, Wall climbing & finishing off with a canoe paddle.


Pre-game tactical discussion

For anyone who has never played this game before...it consists of rolling around in the mud, with guns that if you called 'accurate' would have you in front of a trades description panel. 
It was soon learned that a charge leading to a killing distance of 4 feet was the most suitable tactic.
Also, should you wish to cheat...god forbid...it is possible to stick your target sensor under your hat, thus giving you Superman-like death defying qualities.

Another bit of advice here, and this is important........no matter how cunning your camouflage, the excellence of your choice of hiding place or the ninja-like qualities of your stalking skills...do not take your dog along to this game...
Blaze led the opposing team to my location each and every time, resulting in my sensors lighting up and buzzing more than a Las Vegas million dollar slot machine on steroids paying out...as I took multiple killing hits from my adversaries. 

Next came the archery. Let's just say I never needed Maid Marion blowing in my ear to make a complete and utter ass of myself.      Personally, I think I was given a rubbish bow, with rubbish arrows and a smaller target than everyone else. Heck, even the kids whupped me at this game. (shamed)...


Looking good...until the 'letting go of the arrow' bit.


Then I glanced down to my feet....

This event finished up with me having a visitor strolling passed me. It must have seen my archery abilities, and decided that it was safe to wander by, after correctly assuming that I couldn't hit a full grown python at 3 paces even if my life depended on it....

Next was my favourite, the wall climbing. As I was the only one of our group doing this, I got stuck in along with the kids, so there was no chance of showing myself up by shaking with fear. As it turned out, this was as enjoyable as I had imagined, and I even did the zip-wire down, and later the leap of faith, which basically means climbing up a rather high 'telegraph pole' and launching yourself into space to hit a ball suspended in front of you.  Great fun.


3-2-1-go....

Then, after a paddle around the loch in a Canadian canoe, it was sadly time to pack the gear and head home.


The plans for the rest of the week were to head North, to visit the Hobbits at Glencoe Ski Centre, then onwards to Blackwater Hostel in Kinlochleven.  Gary was returning back to Fife, but I'm never one for passing up any chance to head off to the hills for a few days climbing.  With that in mind, I collected Blazes pal Digger, and proceeded to our first visit.



Blaze & Digger carry out Hobbit inspection at the ski centre


The external lighting is now in and looking good.

We arrived in Kinlochleven on the Friday, with still time to walk, so I took the dogs along the Ciaran trail, which is a lovely wooded walk heading up to Blackwater reservoir which set us up nicely for a few beers in the Bothan Bar at the Ice Factor.

We didn't stay in the bar for too many, as tomorrow was to be a long awaited return match with a mountain that for varying reasons, I have missed time and time again...Sgurr Eilde Mor, that sits on the Easternmost side of the Mamores.

After a good nights sleep in a mini-hobbit, we drove up as far as Mamore lodge, parked up and got on our boots, with the first leg taking us to above Kinlochleven with wonderful views all the way down to Glencoe, with Garbh Bheinn to our left, The Pap of Glencoe and Beinn na Caillich dead ahead and the Mamores to our right. Absolutely beautiful.


Resting the dogs....(or me)???


From a bench someone has erected on the trail.

We then skirted the flanks of Na Graugaichean, went up and around the Southern end of Sgor Elide Beag and into Coire an Lochan where we stopped for lunch. Again, the scenery was amazing, although you could 'feel' the change in weather coming in.


Eilde Mor looking inviting...for a while...


A chance for the boys to have a swim.

Then it was nothing less than a rocky scramble to the summit, easier said than done as the cloud just suddenly scooted in and the wind picked up to around 35 knots. We got some views from the other side for a few minutes before it closed in completely. It mattered not a jot....at last, I had made the summit and could now sleep easy at nights.

Then it was a swift retreat back down..and the rather long walkout back to the village. What could spoil this glorious day???? I'll tell you...we watched the Scotland footie game...shame on us.

Arriving back at the hostel, with great dismay, I found that all the Hobbits had been booked out for the night, but luckily, I had left a very small tent there from my previous visit...just in case.   Unluckily, I never had a foam roll or my mattress with me. 
Still, making the best of a poor situation, I pitched the tent.   I also started eyeing the dogs with regards to their size which seemed to have increased in relation to the tent size, which oddly enough seemed to have decreased.

Imagine if you can, sleeping between Mike Tyson and Smoking Joe,  who are both having nightmares and lashing out....this was my night.... Then Digger deemed that my head was a wonderful substitute for a pillow, and Blaze not to be outdone, decided the same... so I now had 2 dogs on my face.

Then.....came the noises..... As any dog owner will attest to, at some point in the night, usually as you are just managing to fall off to sleep..it starts.... The noise is a licking/slurping, that sounds like sucking blamange through a pillow case...with burping in between the sucking... It drives you crazy. The dogs however awake next morning, fully refreshed and with pristine testicles....

Next day, we were to meet up with Cathy in the car park at the base of Buachaille Etive Mor, to climb our favourite mountain. I have never yet had good enough visibility to get views from these climbs, so today was going to be the day, but only if we could skelp on and get to the summit of Stob Dearg by 1 o'clock as the weather was to close in...again.

Therefore, with no time to lose, we headed off up into the gully that breaches the defenses of this formidable lump of rock..munching banana breakfast on the hoof. It's a bit of a slog, but keeping on eye on the route, and the other on the lowering cloud base, we made the bealach in good time, and headed for the summit. Hurrah...a view down.


The view down to the road...at last

With little time to waste, we retraced our steps to the bealach and headed along to the 2nd Munro of the day, Stob na Brioge. We passed the point where I stupidly managed to fall off the ridge, but this time safely negotiating the change of course required. Unfortunately, the weather had now turned vicious, lashing rain and high wind which turned the rock into unpredictable mini skating rinks. We made the summit, and the plan was to continue along the ridge and drop down into the glen below, but after 5 minutes, we realised we were getting disorientated, and I didn't relish making an idiot of myself by cascading off the same mountain twice, so we turned and headed back along the same route we arrived on.    

All good..well no, as we veered off course, and the map and compass was of no help without any visible points of reference.  Luckily, we had excellent backup with the Satmap, and it told us where we were, and most importantly, where to go. It turns out, we had missed the turn off cairn by only 50 yards, but it was like walking with a wet blanket over our heads, so an easy mistake to make.  Our only other option would have been to have fished out the survival bags and sit and wait on some visibility to appear.

At least Cathy was happy having added 2 more Munros to her tally, Digger was up to his 84th and Blaze to his 9th, so although very wet, very tired and getting hungry, we were 4 happy bunnies.

I wonder where next week will take us?